Aptly titled

I was thinking that perhaps it is ironic that my blog is called Dildos and Gigolos and my writing is so much about my frustration of not being held lovingly or in a proper way.

Dildos and gigolos represent do-it-yourself means of achieving satisfaction of a sexual and sensual nature but not of the heartfelt intimate kind and that is my essential disconnect.

I keep reaching for items that give the quick thrill but my desire is to reach beyond, to go deeper and to connect with my heart first and that is where I keep on tripping and falling into the the abysssssssss.

If I were to rename my blog in order to better represent what it is supposed to be about, maybe I would call it, Deep Eye Gaze or Big Hugs and Tender Kisses or The Fuck I Don't Know How To Do This and It's Scarington Post.

Well the truth is I like the way the words dildos and gigolos just roll off my tongue. I guess that I also like that it sounds naughty and cheeky too. The contents certainly don't deliver the overtly sexual or erotic thrills one might anticipate when seeing the name. I tried to write that way at first but my essential self had something else to say. So for now dildos and gigolos remain in the realm of coping mechanisms and not fodder for erotic story telling.